How To Create Strong Bonds At A Social Distance
Are you missing the warmth? (You’re probably sweating from the July heat and thinking, is she kidding! Not that warmth.) Conjure up instead – the sun’s rays making golden halos on dew drops perched on leaves and petals. Rays of light you could just bathe in because they are so welcoming. That warmth. The same feeling you get from a hug, when you see in someone’s pupils that they truly understand you, or the energy you pick up from someone when you are together in the midst of an animated exchange of ideas or problem solving. You getting me?
Those interpersonal fireflies are next to impossible to capture without being in close proximity to each other and perhaps even touching. With our current pandemic, we are limited physically, challenged personally. And the electricity is next to impossible to generate…. but not impossible.
One-on-one, with no one else interrupting or vying for attention, a phone call or video call can create this warmth. Why? Because you are giving each other 100% of your attention and that kind of connecting is palpable. You pay attention to the other’s tone of voice, their modulations. Appreciate the individual’s laugh, hear the processing of thought, and can be drawn into their excitement and/or determination. And when they question, you can respond or allow them to work through the outcome. The surprises that bubble up from the depth of a “simple” conversation, where both people are fully paying attention and in sync, are open to all kinds of possibility.
During working from home, I’ve been delighted by conversations. Of course, there are some dear friends and family members to be expected. Yet, it’s the ones where you are meeting a new introduction or catching up with someone whose voice you haven’t heard in a long while that can thrill and recharge.
Thinking back on my executive search career, most search consultants dread making the turn down call: when the client has chosen someone else. You understand deeply you will be disappointing the person on the other end of the phone. Yet, for me, some of the best conversations took place at that instant. What made it wonderful was the teachable moment for both of us: my being able to offer feedback and advice for marketing them for their next position and their conveying their emotions and vulnerability honestly, particularly for the Millennials who were so unfamiliar with the process. A magical moment when the person is not a candidate for a professional role, they’re simply a human being. Some of my closest business relationships to date are with people who interviewed but didn’t receive the role. When we were so mutually giving and receiving that a unique bond was created that spans the test of time.
Returning to the point, while, you may not be able to be in the same room, at the same table and breathing the same air, you can still feel the essence of a person. It can be transmitted over phone lines. If you are willing to truly pay attention, listen, and be in the moment with the other someone.
If you are searching for some deep warmth to recharge and glow? To receive a reflection of you without any mirror involved? Schedule a call or simply pick up the phone and surprise a somebody within your axis. You’ll both feel the rays of warmth whether consciously or unconsciously.
Are you noticing in our current times, you are spending too much of your energy appeasing your team or colleagues? And, not on yourself? If you are in a position to support others or you are called to bring good change, encouragement, and growth – you need to access your reserves first: balance, nourishment, connection. Only by focusing on self-care, can you have the energy and mindset to step into your light and give of yourself. Choose yourself first so that you may impact others to reach their full potential.
If you would like to have a conversation on how you can do this, contact me: Susan@SusanGoldbergLeadership.com
We can grow together.