Do You Acknowledge Your “Enough”?
“He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.” ~ Lao Tzu
Do you acknowledge and honor when you’ve had or reached enough (your limit)? Or, do you ignore that message and let others decide for you?
Understanding what is enough for you, admitting it, and standing your ground regarding when that level has been reached is a sign of strength and self-respect. By your taking a stand for what’s best for you, you can demonstrate to others that they can do the same. And it gives you the space to move on to something different that is more energizing and productive.
People may try to push you past where you’re willing to go – like a boss, a coach, a mentor, a Board member. When you’re curious, self-aware and mindful, you can admit when you’ve reached a satiation point or saturation. And if you are strong and grounded, you can push back, and say “I’m good. I’m stopping. I’ve reached my finish line.” You can be like Simone Biles, Serena Williams, and Michael Phelps. Sometimes that means taking time to think things through and listen to your own wisdom. It can be something as simple as paying attention to your body and hear what it’s communicating, like get more sleep or you’ll collapse. Or I understand my own limits for right now and I’m good with that.
Many of us had parents who pushed us because they felt it was the “right” thing to do, or they wanted more for us out of life than they had, or because their parents pushed them. Perhaps you are grateful because that pushing got you to where you are. And, perhaps you continue to be okay with other authority figures pushing you beyond a point in the sand. You also may feel the opposite way, you’ve had enough of that continuous pushing that came from your parents, like Prince in “When Doves Cry” – “maybe you’re just like my mother, she’s never satisfied.” These are all good ways of being as long as you are comfortable with them.
How about a scenario when you work with a business coach? You’ve hired someone to coach you because you couldn’t do everything on your own and you want more, you want better. It takes guts to realize your circumstances and then invest money in growing with the aid of a coach.
It also takes guts to push back on your coach and understand your saturation point while they still may want to push you further or work with you longer. Despite the fact they are the authority figure because of their expertise when they’re coaching you, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t challenge them or let them know when enough is enough for you. When you’ve gone as far as you want to go in your current situation.
The same applies to a boss or board member. Their agenda and timing may differ from yours for some reason. If there is a deadline looming, that you both have agreed to or is out of your influence, it’s another story. Hopefully if that is the situation, you will both be on the same page to fulfill the demands of that deadline.
Yet, when the timeline of your boss or board member is arbitrary and doesn’t take into account all the things you are juggling, and hasn’t included your buy-in of the terms, you are entitled to push back. And, in pushing back, educate them on the information they are missing. For instance, your other commitments, goals, any obstacles/challenges you are facing, personal responsibilities they aren’t aware of. If they are a fair person, they’ll listen and respect you for being honest and upfront. Then, you can figure out a solution together.
Through the years I’ve been able to push back on bosses, but somehow it didn’t equate to me that I could also push back on my business coach. A time ago, a former coach was pushing me because she wanted more. Meanwhile, I wasn’t sure we were traveling on the same road. When I had taken the time to check in with myself and determine what I really needed wasn’t to be hyper-analyzed but just course-corrected, I pushed back. I stood up for me and my journey. Doing that served me well. I took back control of my “enough” while also acknowledging how far we had already come.
Every person is unique. What’s the limit for one person is not the limit for another. As a leader it benefits you to realize when you’ve reached your saturation. Then honor it.
And while you understand what’s enough for you and would like others to respect that, it also is extremely important to show that respect too. For instance, understand those you work with may have different limits than you do. It’s not for you to say when their limit is. It’s for you to listen and ask questions so you can understand their “enough”.
Being a great leader, you want to instill confidence not erode it. Show compassion. Give them the opportunity to check in with themselves periodically and figure things out to their benefit. By doing this, you are recognizing them as a valued contributor and showing them respect.
This doesn’t mean you don’t have a say, however. While trying to practice patience, take your time to consider. You can decide if their limit doesn’t coincide with or allow your team/project/department to reach expected deadlines or goals with the professionalism necessary. If that is the situation, you can reevaluate whether that individual is right for your team. Is their “enough”- enough for you, or have you reached your enough?
Are there challenges within a team you lead? Turnover, talent gaps, underdelivered expectations. Is whatever solution you’ve used previously not the right response for your current circumstances? Have you reached your enough with individual team members? We can work together to gather the information and inspiration needed so that you and your team can become more productive, satisfied, and feel recognized. Your bottom line will feel the results too.
My work as a leadership and communication expert has me go into organizations, as an outside unbiased view to look at the information gaps. Using proprietary and trademarked solutions, I identify what an organization is missing that’s holding it back from thriving and continuing to stay relevant. Have practices become entrenched or no longer fit your plans for today’s workplace and goals? Contact me: Susan@SusanGoldbergLeadership.com Let’s talk.