Remember what it’s like to be 8-years-old at lunch in a school cafeteria? You see a kid who has a home-baked chocolate chip cookie. More than anything, you want that cookie, so you try to make a trade; your package of Sour Patch Kids for that cookie. The only thing is that the cookie owner doesn’t want to part with his freshly baked cookie. And, he says in his culture, there is only sweet candy. Therefore, he doesn’t want to make the trade. You’re 8; you can’t conceive of anybody not liking sour candy. And you want the cookie. How can you work with someone who does not share your tastes or a desire to exchange?

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A close friend of mine admits she’s more on the spectrum than the general population. Because of the special talents that come along with her unique gift, she has taught me valuable ways of looking at things. I bring this up in a blog about leadership because the members of your team with different ways of doing or seeing things can enhance how your team functions and can provide new perspectives, even possibly fun or joy. Here are the top five things I’ve learned through our friendship which will benefit you...

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Surprised when those you share so much with disagree with your point? People you work with may not always be on your same wavelength. If you can apply your curiosity skills, you can ask and listen to their views about why your vision or opinion is not shared. And if you discover, they're uncertain, you can be comfortable with uncertainty which is a great outcome because it means they are not stuck in an opinion.

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For many generations in the U.S., showing up and being reliable has been an accepted practice of demonstrating respect for others. And it’s been a desirable quality to be the person that people can rely on. Yet, like so many things you may be questioning after the last few years, is this still relevant or have today’s influencers changed acceptable behavior? You can probably acknowledge norms and manners have been changing socially and professionally. So, even though Bruno Mars may have sung about this, do you question if younger professionals (who because of their numbers set the trends and standards) still care about being reliable?

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Have you ever felt you like you were giving your all to the organization and you were being appreciated for that?
You understand how motivating that is.

Colleagues of mine who are career and leadership coaches were having conversations with African-American clients about African-American women not receiving recognition in leadership and therefore making a pivotal decision: leave their jobs and organizations mid-career or at least consider leaving. My mentor, who helped launch my leadership business, thought this was such a common experience she encouraged me to write about it.

I took her suggestion to heart and wondered - how common is this self-conversation and pivotal choice? Was it different from the conversations other women were having with themselves at the same point in their career?

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Would you like to work for a place that champions respect for everyone? That respect would include an everyday practice of good manners. Good manners? Are good manners relevant or even possible in today's workplace? Yes, they are! Here's some examples and why they matter more than ever in creating a healthy respectful culture for everyone. And, here's how they can work for you.

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We’re all trying to find the right balance personally and professionally through this pandemic, and we’ll keep at it because sometimes we’re successful even if it’s fleeting. If you are a leader, consider the welfare of your young talent, providing them with the resources they need from their perspective is a win-win for everyone. People benefit from being thought of holistically and not just professional roles or titles. And you do, too. Find your right balance for work and life, mix or combo.

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There's great reason to appreciate the child in all of us, and not just at the holidays. While we may be struggling with that notion because of how difficult life can be, even the exercise of trying to see from an inner innocence is a good thing. The joy, wonder, and the awe. That inner innocence can be a wonderful tool for our professional and personal lives. And, it's becoming a trend.

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Autumn, the season of change has arrived. And with that, a pondering of change, your view of change. What determines your attitude toward change? Beside ease of change, your opinion of change may depend on whether you have control over it, or the degree of participation you have into making that change. And, still there is always choice for a third option, taking control of what you can.

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Look how far you’ve come. Without mistakes in your past, you couldn’t have the history to bring you to where you are today. You understand humans are imperfect. That’s why we are continual students. When we make mistakes, we learn more - than from doing something right the first time. From failing, we grow and stretch and challenge ourselves. When you make a mistake, would you prefer someone with compassion teach you where you went wrong so you don't repeat the same thing twice, and you learn? How about when the tables are turned, would you also be as compassionate?

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