Let’s rewind a little, have you ever sent or done something as a show of gratitude to someone who had never actually asked you for anything? When I show appreciation, I get personal. For instance, I sent soup because I was aware the person would greatly appreciate a good bowl more than perhaps anything else. And it was important and satisfying for me to let them know I cared about them and all they had done for me, and had been paying attention to what made them happy. People will remember a show of consideration far longer than a spoken or emailed “thank you.” And the recognition for your consideration in return is often respect, loyalty and more and better efforts.

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When you hear or read, do you spend more energy on how to understand or how to label the content? One way of determining if you are a leader is whether you listen more to learn or to judge. When your mind is trying to understand, it is open to all kinds of possibilities. You are trying to make connections with the new information to the information you already hold in your brain. This allows for many new pathways for the information to go. It’s the route of knowledge. If you are labeling, you are making a decision, often quickly, to dismiss new information or hold onto it. You are not processing for further use. While one is an open-door approach, the other is a closed-door approach. Which would you rather be – a leader or a judge?

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Surprised when those you share so much with disagree with your point? People you work with may not always be on your same wavelength. If you can apply your curiosity skills, you can ask and listen to their views about why your vision or opinion is not shared. And if you discover, they're uncertain, you can be comfortable with uncertainty which is a great outcome because it means they are not stuck in an opinion.

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For many generations in the U.S., showing up and being reliable has been an accepted practice of demonstrating respect for others. And it’s been a desirable quality to be the person that people can rely on. Yet, like so many things you may be questioning after the last few years, is this still relevant or have today’s influencers changed acceptable behavior? You can probably acknowledge norms and manners have been changing socially and professionally. So, even though Bruno Mars may have sung about this, do you question if younger professionals (who because of their numbers set the trends and standards) still care about being reliable?

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Manners matter in a workplace that favors respect for everyone. Manners convey recognition and consideration. When certain manners are practiced in an organization and you follow them, you fit with the company culture. And, whether you accept it or not, you are communicating a lot about yourself and how you view yourself in the organization when you use manners or don’t use them with the people you work with. Yet, manners can be tricky because they are not the same from country to country or region to region even within the U.S. and they are constantly evolving and updating according to general practice of the times. With all these differences, how can you possibly figure out how to act in a respectful way in a workplace? Here are some tips...

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Have you ever felt you like you were giving your all to the organization and you were being appreciated for that?
You understand how motivating that is.

Colleagues of mine who are career and leadership coaches were having conversations with African-American clients about African-American women not receiving recognition in leadership and therefore making a pivotal decision: leave their jobs and organizations mid-career or at least consider leaving. My mentor, who helped launch my leadership business, thought this was such a common experience she encouraged me to write about it.

I took her suggestion to heart and wondered - how common is this self-conversation and pivotal choice? Was it different from the conversations other women were having with themselves at the same point in their career?

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Would you like to work for a place that champions respect for everyone? That respect would include an everyday practice of good manners. Good manners? Are good manners relevant or even possible in today's workplace? Yes, they are! Here's some examples and why they matter more than ever in creating a healthy respectful culture for everyone. And, here's how they can work for you.

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Who has been particularly giving to you? Consider all the people through the pandemic who have been there to offer advice, compassion, and introductions toward bringing you additional recognition and possibly even business. In some way they’ve contributed to making you better. How are you about asking for and receiving their support?

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We’re all trying to find the right balance personally and professionally through this pandemic, and we’ll keep at it because sometimes we’re successful even if it’s fleeting. If you are a leader, consider the welfare of your young talent, providing them with the resources they need from their perspective is a win-win for everyone. People benefit from being thought of holistically and not just professional roles or titles. And you do, too. Find your right balance for work and life, mix or combo.

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There's great reason to appreciate the child in all of us, and not just at the holidays. While we may be struggling with that notion because of how difficult life can be, even the exercise of trying to see from an inner innocence is a good thing. The joy, wonder, and the awe. That inner innocence can be a wonderful tool for our professional and personal lives. And, it's becoming a trend.

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