Remember what it’s like to be 8-years-old at lunch in a school cafeteria? You see a kid who has a home-baked chocolate chip cookie. More than anything, you want that cookie, so you try to make a trade; your package of Sour Patch Kids for that cookie. The only thing is that the cookie owner doesn’t want to part with his freshly baked cookie. And, he says in his culture, there is only sweet candy. Therefore, he doesn’t want to make the trade. You’re 8; you can’t conceive of anybody not liking sour candy. And you want the cookie. How can you work with someone who does not share your tastes or a desire to exchange?

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A close friend of mine admits she’s more on the spectrum than the general population. Because of the special talents that come along with her unique gift, she has taught me valuable ways of looking at things. I bring this up in a blog about leadership because the members of your team with different ways of doing or seeing things can enhance how your team functions and can provide new perspectives, even possibly fun or joy. Here are the top five things I’ve learned through our friendship which will benefit you...

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As leaders we would like to be empathic and have compassion for our people, and yet we too are human. We do our best to listen and ask. Still, we can't "get it right" 100% of the time. We have not walked in their shoes.

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Have you noticed you don’t hear that particular term, TMI, much anymore? And you may not have used it for a while. This transformation happened because open conversations and sharing have become increasingly popular. Are you in step with this change? Allow me to share a snapshot with someone who has his eyes focused on how and why this happened. And why, believe it or not, this is a good thing for you.

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Do you know your proxemics? Yup, there’s a word for it – the amount of distance you are comfortable with between yourself and others. The personal space necessary for you to feel at ease. Depending on culture, personal history, where you live, and age you may have a different perspective. You may not have given any thought to this, yet, this is important in making a comfortable work environment for everybody.

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Are you prepared for fire? You’re a business leader. So, some of your fires, in addition to actual flames with heat, could include threats of violence or harassment within or outside the business, cybersecurity breaches or product defects. These could possibly happen any time so while you may not 100% prepared, you can be ready. As you will read, like me, you can do this. Here are some tips.

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Perhaps like me, you’ve had people who have tried to discourage you in your career. Or, you have had second thoughts about your career path. Despite that, if you are reading this, you persevered. The depth of coverage on the recent passing of monumental females left me feeling particularly curious about the timing behind a current Elle magazine article shaming women who dare to have ambition and dreams. The Elle article invited me to write a response; a piece that challenges this fashionable trend and celebrates ambition and dreams. Does groundbreaker describe your dream?

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When you hear or read, do you spend more energy on how to understand or how to label the content? One way of determining if you are a leader is whether you listen more to learn or to judge. When your mind is trying to understand, it is open to all kinds of possibilities. You are trying to make connections with the new information to the information you already hold in your brain. This allows for many new pathways for the information to go. It’s the route of knowledge. If you are labeling, you are making a decision, often quickly, to dismiss new information or hold onto it. You are not processing for further use. While one is an open-door approach, the other is a closed-door approach. Which would you rather be – a leader or a judge?

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Actions that bring good things often become habits. For instance morning affirmations, meditation or physical stretching. Habits that aren’t bringing you the good stuff, you try to let go of because they get in the way of your work success, better health and more fulfillment. How about group habits? Have you thought about ways of working at your company that have become an ingrained group practice but are getting in the way of the good stuff? One of those habits may be superficial thinking. Here's an explanation and example of superficial thinking, and what you can do about it at your organization.

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Although not an exclusive issue among young leaders, I’ve noticed a growing trend among younger professionals who make a conscious choice when reading, watching or hearing, to limit their view of information to a single moment, an emoji, or a phrase which forms a self-contained bubble. Skimming the surface, they then rush to make a judgement about it. Good, bad, right or wrong. And it becomes personal. Whoever said, wrote or did are good, bad, right or wrong. These young professionals are missing the big picture, perspective, and details. It is an incomplete view which potentially hurts their decision making, their team/department, and themselves. Does this sound familiar? Has this been impacting you, your company or team?

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